When my best friend Mia set me up with Eric, I didn’t expect much — until he showed up to our first date with roses,

a personalized gift, and impeccable manners. He insisted on paying, declaring, “A man pays on the first date.” I was charmed.

But the next morning, I received an unexpected message: an invoice. Yes, a literal PDF titled “Date Night Invoice – Outstanding Balance.”

He had assigned “charges” for everything:

Rose bouquet: One hug

Custom keychain: A coffee date

Dinner: A second date with no excuses

At the bottom, he warned failure to comply could lead to “collections” — and Chris, Mia’s boyfriend, “would hear about it.”

Stunned, I sent it to Mia. Chris saw it and crafted a savage response:

Introducing you to a gorgeous woman: Permanent block

Not exposing you online: A generous gift

Letting you sit at her table: Apology to women everywhere

Eric fired back with angry texts. I blocked him.

Lesson learned? If a guy insists on paying, make sure he’s not the type to send you a bill afterward.

I kept the keychain — as a hilarious souvenir of the weirdest date ever.